My English class is really getting out of hand. Not only do we do practically NOTHING English related, every book we read, my stupid teacher has to pick it apart with his dumb ass liberal agenda! It's getting so old. We never get to simply read a book and enjoy it. One fucking sentence can taint an author's reputation in the impressionable minds of high schoolers! Seriously! Every book we read is not racist! F. Scott Fitzgerald is certainly not racist! He's brilliant and one sentence does not make him a bigot. He spends PAGES in which Tom Buchanan's white supremacist views are cast in an unsympathetic light. Everyone in the story ignores him! They change the subject. And clearly, Tom Buchanan is not Fitzgerald's favorite person...look at the descriptions of him! And honestly, if someones personal beliefs are repugnant, does that change their contributions to society? If Fitzgerald was racist, would that make his work any less beautiful and meaningful? I certainly don't think so. It's not that I'm supporting racism, as my idiotic classmates now think, but I just can't stand the daily helping of liberal crap that is shoved down my throat. It's quite ridiculous. Every poem we read is carefully chosen for a message that serves his purpose. Every book we read, chosen by the school board, is pinched and tinted to fit his meaning. I think it's stupid! He's projecting his opinions onto everything. Instead of simply reading and enjoying The Great Gatsby, he reads it looking for things to pick at! It's intolerable! If this is what higher education is like, count me out! I do not think that people should be subjected daily to being told what to think or being maneuvered into an uneducated opinion because what they are being told is completely one sided! My idiotic teacher believes that just because he says that he respects everyone's opinion and wants us to voice it in class makes it true! He most certainly does not respect my opinion! He lets me say it and then patronizes me and maneuvers me into a corner. If I say one thing, he makes me look like I support racism or that I don't have any facts. I think that's a horrible thing. There is no reason to dislike someone based on their physical appearance or race---that's just stupid. Let me just say this---you've gone too far! I will sit there and here the many praises of Obama. That's just fine, but when you start insulting my favorite author, expect it to get ugly fast. I'm so sick of sitting there and not saying anything. I can't live this way. I don't care that I'm in school and I'm supposed to learn. I know for a fact that my parents dislike the idea of this brainwashing in the guise of a school subject. It's fucking insanity. This is war.

Alone on Valentines Day?

Valentine's Day is here! Hoorah! And, unsurprisingly, I am alone. But I think that makes it even better, don't you? If I had some silly boy to put up with, I'd be out in some crowded restaurant tonight, making small talk, and pretending to gush as he says something idiotic and "romantic". Besides, what about the inevitable, "I love you" followed by "...uhhh"? That sucks. I'll be home, listening to Alex Carpenter's emo V-Day tributes, but that's okay. So here's my V-Day battle plan:

a). Guitar Lessons...you gotta love 'em!

b). gorging myself on See's Candy (purchased with that handy dandy birthday gift certificate)

c). taking care of my poor little doggie...she ate floss this week and had to have surgery. So, while my parents are off doing the dinner-and-dancing extravaganza, Fredi and I will be cuddled up at home. She'll be attempting to jump onto the furniture and I'll be constantly jumping up to stop her....not fun. But that's okay!

d). watching some movies: Bringing Up Baby, Gigi, You've Got Mail, The Philadelphia Story, followed by High Society, Dedication, and definitely some Instant Star reruns!

Sounds good to me!

Your Valentine,

Lauren Snailbrain

xoxo

Go on, say it

I got a bunch of ARC's at Pizza and Pages on Thursday. What is it about advanced reading copies that makes my head spin? It's like just because it's beyond new, no one's going to see it, much less read it for months, these book have this siren call. I don't really understand. Especially because now, with a clear head on a Sunday evening, there seems nothing extraordinary about these books at all. All but one. But that one's special. It's my series. I know it's vapid and ridiculous, but compared with brain rot like The Elite or Gossip Girl or The A-List, I can honestly say that E. Lockheart's Ruby Oliver series is not that bad. In fact, it's fun. I know what you must be thinking---Lauren read a bubble-gum pink chicklit and call it fun? What the fuck?---but it is...leave it to those revolting rom coms (which I simply adore). They put you in the mood for the meet cute and happily ever after. Sometimes, it's quite nice to read a book without suicide or depression or excessive cursing or complicated plot lines. Sometimes it's quite nice to take a break from thinking for a while and just relax mentally as well as physically. So, day-of-rest-Sunday was a stunning success, much to the chagrin of my parents and homework. Oh well...I'll worry about that some other time because in the here and now, I can't honestly give a fuck.
I had my first guitar lesson on Saturday. It was a grand success! Of course I was awkward and terrible and odd noises came out of the guitar, but I had so much fun! Even with being repeatedly referred to as "Little One" by my teacher...Next week he's teaching us a song. Hurrah! Guitar was followed by a peek in Mood. SO COOL! So many different bolts of fabric and all sorts of colors and everything! I love it! Ten million times better than Joanne's and ten million times more expensive. But that's okay. I think I might just save all my money from now on and buy quality fabric instead. Even since Florence Fabrics closed, making things has been more of alterations and refashionings of ripped or stained vintage.
Oh, and I saw two movies:
1. The Pallbearer- labeled a comedy. It is not. Don't watch it. It's not even remotely funny.
2. My Sassy Girl- don't let the title fool you. This movie is amazing. It's a remake of a Korean film and it's SO cool. I am now in search of the original. See it.

Farewell Indie!

This week has got to be the worst week. ever. Not only is school and home and life stressing me out, but I was extremely sad to learn that Indie 103.1, the only true alternative station in southern california, has died. Well, not exactly, as it will continue to be boradcast online, but I can't help but be depressed at all the quiet car rides ahead of me.

This is an important message for the Indie 103.1 Radio Audience -Indie 103.1 will cease broadcasting over this frequency effective immediately. Because of changes in the radio industry and the way radio audiences are measured, stations in this market are being forced to play too much Britney, Puffy and alternative music that is neither new nor cutting edge. Due to these challenges, Indie 103.1 was recently faced with only one option --- to play the corporate radio game.We have decided not to play that game any longer. Rather than changing the sound, spirit, and soul of what has made Indie 103.1 great Indie 103.1 will bid farewell to the terrestrial airwaves and take an alternative course. This could only be done on the Internet, a place where rules do not apply and where new music thrives; be it grunge, punk, or alternative - simply put, only the best music.For those of you with a computer at home or at work, log on to www.indie1031.com and listen to the new Indie 103.1 - which is really the old Indie 103.1, not the version of Indie 103.1 we are removing from the broadcast airwaves.We thank our listeners and advertisers for their support of the greatest radio station ever conceived, and look forward to continuing to deliver the famed Indie 103.1 music and spirit over the Internet to passionate music listeners around the world.

Yeah...so on the bright side, Indie will still be around. but I'm still not happy. Some people say that this is the future of radio-- everything online, with podcasts in the car, but is this what we really want? I love radio! What is so wrong with the radio? I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm not happy. To risk being corny and sentimental, I've had a lot of good times with this station and I have bonds with certain friends basically BECAUSE OF Indie 103.1. Must all good things die?

New beginnings?

Well...now isn't this strange? Key IDs finished a day early? what is this horror?!

And actually accomplishing things I want to do...?

Living dangerously.

But seriously, aaaackck. Doesn't it just drive you absolute bonkers when you want to talk to someone and don't know what to say?!?! I can't stand it. It's bugging me. Someone better figure out how to solve this pretty quick if I'm ever going to stay friends with anyone.

I know I can have it.

Well, Christmas has come and gone, my birthday too...
SEVENTEEN, BABY!
Yeah. Now I'm really the dancing queen. hahaha.
Birthday/Christmas goodies: reccord player, guitar lessons at McCabes, a lovely virtual note from Gaines, a tiger painting, an ice cream maker, and tons of heartfelt cards.
I have been offered a moose, Alex Carpenter, Alex Carpenter riding a moose...ah, good times.
Now here comes New Years, and I have such a conumdrum! I go sixteen years without one invite to a party and now I've got two! YES. But how to choose? Well, I know to which one I'll go, but wondering which is all the fun!
Anyway, love love love from me!
and happy birthday semra. <3

Birthday Wish?

RACHEL ZOE COAT, Currently owned by Kime Buzzelli, soon to be owned by an ebay person. Please let it be me! :)

Just watch this fancy footwork

Wonderful Happenings in the Life of Lauren:
1. I saw reindeer! Their antlers looked like slender tree branches and their shiny fur could have participated in a shampoo commercial.
2. Gave a gift without expecting anything in return. I got a hug. :)
3. Mamma mia love. Danielle and I are movie soul sisters. I take Mamma Mia love very seriously, doncha know.
4. Watched Jack and Jill vs. The World
5. My favorite big sister in the world is engaged. Hoorah!
6. DISNEYLAND. epic.
7. Parental agreement to dye hair blue. FROM MY DAD. He's going to dye it! A christmas miracle! The catch: temporary only.
8. Attended my first Surprise Party completely by accident. Lora and Ana and Kitty threw me a chakra themed birthday party complete with yarn streamers and a Kitty-made chocolate and walnut cake. yum. We listened to system of a down, panic! at the disco, elton john, and weezer, and talked about Kitty's fireplace, her conversation with JC, and aura reading. I'm not too good. I'll just keep practicing and see what happens. Apparently my aura was blue on Thursday. Pretty nifty. :)
9. Succeeded in not yelling at idiot English teacher. Major feat.
10. Duran Duran = Lauren Lauren?

Seven Snailbrain Days Left!

A week to go...seven days from today, it will be my birthday. I think this is a good thing. Maybe. Sixteen...an interesting year in the life of Lauren. Some parts were pretty bad, thank you very much you know who! And other parts were plastic fantastic electric swagger heaven. All I know is that I'm not quite ready to move on. It's like I have so many more things I want to do! Seventeen is not death, but it's OLD. OLD! Not really, but yeah, really. Get my drift? It's kind of confusing my brain. I like the idea of aging, gaining additional respect until you're a granny at the ripe old age of eighty-somethin'. When you're old, no one really cares about what you do. YOU'RE OLD! Well, that's far off from now, but I just can't help but contemplate it. I tell you, I am not in favor of banned books, but people should seriously NOT read The Picture of Dorian Gray. NO. Don't do it. You become slightly vain and CONCERNED about growing old. More of the latter. On the bright side, Winter Break starts Friday. That's pretty ahhhh-some. On a side note, is it crazy to be pining for a Charlie Brown tree of my very own? I want it, I want it! That and Mamma Mia on DVD. Gimme Gimme Gimme some musical movie magic after midnight! Seven days, let's make them count!
What amazing cool thing happened today?
It rained buckets. I went caroling and delivered flowers to old folks. That's pretty fine and dandy.

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Bat, are you under my Christmas tree?

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a teatray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!

A declaration of sentiment

Dear Kime Buzzelli, hello!
I know that you have no idea who I am, and I know that you have never seen my pitiful blog...but I'm writing to you anyhow. Your art inspires me! It's uplifting...it's messy and unconventional and out there. It's like I'm looking into a fraction of someone's dreams...there are tree branches growing out of girls' heads, and eyeshadow in crazy bright colors smudging down over their cheeks. Unconventional beauty is prized;Frequently I can see large front teeth with gaps and Penelope Tree's wide set eyes. It's different and unique from what you normally see. You write snippets in the corners and I feel like they explain things perfectly. Poetry without being completely abstract and traditional in the sense that poetry is supposed to be abstract. Your blog is my favorite. It may sound untrue, but I check it more often than Facebook...a great feat for the naive high schooler! Your art inspires. One day, I'm going to visit Show Pony(Someday when I can drive...).
Until then,
xoxo Lauren Snailbrain

Please can someone be this for Halloween next year??

Hello World, tremble in fear!

My name is Lauren Snailbrain and I have something to say. I dedicate this to people who are like me. Stand up stand out, breath in breath out. I’m someone you’ve just realized you can’t live without. I am unique. And I swear you are too. Make your own music and dance your own way. Toss your cares into the air. Live out your big city dreams. Sing out, sing loud, never doubt and never shout never. Show me a hero and I will show you a tragedy. Hello Los Angeles, I am Lauren Snailbrain and this is my manifesto. I salute you.

I was reading John Green's blog this weekend and there was this post in particular that stuck out to me. He was talking about how certain lines of poetry had a lure to them that had him whispering them to himself. Anyway...it's interesting and it made me think about lines that really spoke to me. It seems that whenever I read F. Scott Fitzgerald, I come across a line here or there--quite ordinary: just a line explaining or describing something--and I'm slightly stunned by the eloquence and beauty of his words. I think I'm going a bit overboard here, but I honestly find that even insignificant descriptions of the setting can really hit me. All of the sudden, I really realize how lovely words can be. Here's some poetry by Auden that I love...

"I sit in one of the dives
On Fifty-second Street
Uncertain and afraid
As the clever hopes expire
Of a low dishonest decade:
Waves of anger and fear
Circulate over the bright
And darkened lands of the earth,
Obsessing our private lives;
The unmentionable odour of death
Offends the September night." -W. H. Auden's "September 1st 1939"

"O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart." - W. H. Auden's "As I Walked Out One Evening"

Basically, I love all of "As I Walked Out One Evening". It's whimsical and it's fascinating...to me at least. This summer I tried to write my own poem in this style, and it died. I am HORRIBLE at rhyme. I have more appreciation for this now... :)

If I Found That Envelope...

If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Which places would you visit first and who would you take with you? Whenever I am in a plane, I gaze down at the land stretching out below me. I wonder what's going on down there in the miniature dips and hollows and I know that they must be houses and cities somewhere, but at this height they are invisible to me...I can only imagine what must certainly be there. Flying back home this summer, I had the insatiable urge to travel more, to turn around immediately and see new places, eat new foods, temporarily adapt to new ways of life...

My head is filled with thoughts of Egypt and Iceland, the French countryside and the Greek islands...I wish I was there now. Anywhere but here, anywhere that was different and fascinating and intriguing. Learning new languages and walking around the cities in the evening...doesn't that sound lovely? he only question that remains is: If you were stranded on a desert island with only churros and water, how long would you survive? I wonder...

Today my name is Geraldine

Sometimes I'm seriously diggin the summertime freedom, but with the winter chill. Today is one of those days. It's a Saturday in October and it's not cold enough yet for me to happy and I really see no reason to do those fucking Key IDs anyway...pointless torture, I tell you. I crank up the air conditioning and curl up in my chair. I cover myself in mountains of blankets-my aunt's wave colored crochet, brown furry, little kid quilts-and cover my feet those slipper things from the Gyspy Lady at Carlizzles, and sip hot cocco in perfect bliss. You have no idea what it feels like to just BE and let all the crazy things flying around in my head just STOP and float down to where they need to be. It's marshmellow marvelous. All I'm missing is my toasty fire burning in the fireplace...

I started out reliving the fashion disasters of Team Zoe, but eventually Bravo had the audacity to turn on that stupid housewives of Atlanta show so I turned to my books. I never really thought about reading Rachel Cohn's stuff before. Robin Benway raved about her, but I really never made the connection between the conversation and the actual reading of the books. Honestly, I love her collaborations with David Levithan, but I've always had this bias that he was the true genius of the two...yes, I know. Foolish. I read Gingerbread on Friday and Shrimp today and I think I may even read Pop Princess, even though my entire body shudders at the idea of touching something called Pop Princess...we shall see. I think Gingerbread is a little cliche and a lot over the top, but Cyd Charisse is a character that grabs onto your shoulders with both hands and pulls you into her world, whether you like it or not. Besides, what's not to like about someone named Cyd Charisse?

Plus, I finally got my hands on the new Nylon(technically not so new because I just haven't had time to go buy it until now...tsk tsk)! AND GUESS WHO IS GRACING THE COVER OF MY FAVORITE MAG?!?! ZOOEY DESCHANEL, THAT'S WHO! I love her so much. SO MUCH. She's ultra fabulous. :) Nylon has it right: ZOOEY DESCHANEL will charm the pants off you. Just like Michael Cerra belongs at CTY, Zooey Deschanel belongs in my life. Just kidding, but still. She's amazing. I met her shopping once...it took tremendous will power not to start jumping up and down in my annoying excited way. She sews. She sews!

In other news, M.I.A. has a new clothing line, about which she says, "It's not really...like, a fashion line...as such". It's called NEET( Not in Education, Employment, or Training). Plus, it spells out TEEN backwards. I'm completely in love with "Paper Planes", even though everyone is giving me shit about it...Here's something tres cool she said in the Nylon interview: "The artwork came from being everywhere. I got inspiration from the paintings in side rickshaw taxis in India, these crappy bootlegg Madonna stickers in Africa...It's, like, this weird understanding of Western things but they get it all wrong---and it's the getting it wrong part that I like." Downside: Afrika Leggings: $85 How Many Sweatshirt: $150 Lauren's Brain: WHAT THE FUCK?? HOW MUCH ARE WE CHARGING FOR LEGGINGS?? Are you out of your mind? NEET= total fashion lust.

Oh, and while we are on this page, have I mentioned that I want to be the girl from the Supra ads? You know? That girl with the super choppy hair with the scarf, torn leggings, and the tooth bracelet? Yes. That should be me. But I don't think I could pull it off without moving to a whole other place. But on the other hand, sometimes I wish I was named Geraldine, so who knows what's logical in my head...

Collins vs. McQueen

Collins vs. McQueen:

During the judging of the final challenge before Bryant Park, Kenley Collins' wedding gown was compared to one of Alexander McQueen's Fall 2008 looks. Here they are. I think they look eerily similar...

The Strangest Things

I never thought I'd see the day when I'd skip off gleefully to do community service...come on now...you know me. But I think the day has arrived. I always feel so happy after coming back from the Cantebury and I don't feel like I've wasted any of my time, contrary to my previous experiences with volunteering. I love the little old people! They are adorable.
My current favorite is Dorothy from assisted living. She's very lively and opinionated and sweet. She doesn't seem to care that I have no idea which way the activities are when I'm pushing her through the hallways. Plus, she doesn't treat me like her personal slave...there are a couple of the ladies who are so grouchy.

Another thing that amuses me: the Obama twins! There are these two ladies who ALWAYS wear their Obama buttons on their sweaters. I think it's cool how they're still opinionated about politics and are aware of what's going on right now. Although I disagree with their choice of candidate, I still think it's great that they're still concerned with voting even though they're living in a retirement home---basically in a bubble.

So far, all I'm responsible for is serving tea and cookies, but I really enjoy it. I like it much more than I initially expected and I'm glad. The only thing I didn't really love was going into the assisted living area...they live two to a room and they're sleeping in hospital beds. There's nothing wrong with that, but they remind me of baby birds the way they look up at you confused when you ask them if they'd like to go to the daily activity. Frail, but very cute. They're sitting in their beds with the covers pulled up to their chins...

I wish today was simply an illusion...

Hello world!
Or maybe just Gaines! :)

OH, THE FRUSTRATION. I should be doing Key IDs right now...how I hate doing those notecards...takes forever, but instead I figure that it is long overdue to write a new post. Recently life has been all over the place. The school newspaper came out last week and I'm still behind on sending out the issue to other schools and whatnot. But that's okay. It will get done. Eventually...

On another note, I saw Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist last night, which was AMAZING. I love Kat Dennings(The 40 Year Old Virgin, Charlie Bartlett, The House Bunny). She is wonderful. I wish I was Kat Dennings. No, I take that back. If I could be anyone in the world, it would be Zooey Deschanel (In a non-creepy way, of course). The music was amazing, the casting was good, I loved the humor, and my only complaints are as follows: Michael Cerra is too nerdy for Nick, and also I wanted to hear Where's Fluffy actually play a set. It's rather frustrating when the characters spend the entire movie chasing Where's Fluffy and then you don't get to hear them. The book explains how fantastic they are, but I don't think it comes across as well in the movie, especially as the lyrics are not written across the screen...Overall, I think the book to movie transition was rather good. Although some aspects were changed or left at the wayside, everything was done in the spirit of the novel. Suprising, isn't it? I don't know...What do you think? Maybe because it's not Harry Potter, I'm not up-in-arms about the minor changes, but maybe they were major and not minor after all? Let me know.

I also discovered the Rachel Zoe Project last week while eating raspberries after school. Ever since her guest appearance on Project Runway, I've thought of her as the human scarecrow, but I think she's actually not that bad. Yes, she has the whiney little girl voice, and yes, she does run around wasting most of her money on clothes, but I think all people have these traits whether we like them or not. Plus the show mentions how she's best friends with Marc Jacobs. marc Jacobs equals epic win.

Well, what else can I say? Life is busy right now and more than anything, I'd like to say that I was on a plane somewhere exotic and fabulous but I'm not. I'm at home, eating Panda Express, watching reruns on Bravo, and desperately wishing that the giant stack of Key IDs on my desk was growing smaller by the minute. And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

These Dear Creatures...

Why don't we dress like this anymore? Why aren't hats in fashion? Why is it that few people know what I'm talking about when I mention finger waves? These dear creatures are far more facinating than our generation will ever be. They were iconic, while the years between 2000 and 2010 will be remembered as the decade lacking ingenuity. Fashion now does not create. They dig back through the past and make "updated" crap. The past is lovely and fierce, but I wish that instead of updating it, we'd all just wear the authentic stuff. Hats! Feathers! Bobbed haircuts with finger waves! Bring it on!